How do I bring up mental health with a friend?

Be direct and kind: 'I've noticed you seem down lately. I'm here if you want to talk.' Listen more than you advise, and don't try to fix everything in one conversation.

What should I avoid when helping a friend?

Avoid minimizing ('just cheer up'), diagnosing them, or sharing their situation without permission. Don't take on the role of their therapist.

What if my friend is in danger right now?

Call or text 988 (US), or call 911. Stay with them if you safely can.

Worried about a friend?

Noticing is the hardest part — and you've already done it. Here's how to help without overstepping.

Signs to notice

Withdrawing from friends, activities, or messages
Big changes in sleep, appetite, or energy
Saying things like "what's the point" or "I'm a burden"
Increased drinking or substance use
Giving away possessions or saying goodbye-like things — take this seriously

How to bring it up

Pick a calm, private moment. Be direct — vague hints don't land.

"I've noticed you seem down lately. I'm here if you want to talk — no pressure."

"You don't seem like yourself. What's been going on?"

"I'm worried about you, and I care about you. Can we talk about it?"

"You don't have to go through this alone. Want help finding someone to talk to?"

What to avoid

Minimizing: "Just cheer up" / "Others have it worse"
Diagnosing: don't label what they're going through
Fixing: listen more than you advise
Sharing: don't tell others without their permission (unless they're in danger)
Playing therapist: you're their friend, not their treatment

Share a provider

Sometimes the kindest thing is making the next step easy. Find a therapist and send them the link.

Find a therapist

Take care of yourself

Supporting someone is heavy. You can't pour from an empty cup — talk to someone you trust, set boundaries, and know that you're not responsible for fixing this. Showing up is enough.